Love, Sweet Love

Feb 03 2011

"no one understands how much i truly miss you. i miss your family. all the good times we had. i miss our late nights on your steps. out walks to magic fountain. our sleepovers. our play times. i miss your hugs. we’ve shared a million tears. a million hopes and dreams and secrets. our inside jokes. i ask myself all the time “why? why did he take you? why do bad things happen to such good and loving people?” sometimes i wonder if i’m being selfish. missing you like crazy. your mom is so inspirational. her faith is so pure and true. i’m envious. she must miss you like there’s no tomorrow. her little girl. gone. at the hands of another. your nephews.. all three of them. soon to be four. i really hope they grow up knowing how amazing you are. i miss your comforting words. i hate all this hurt i have inside. i want it to go away. i cry almost everyday. thinking about you. i never want to forget you or the times we had. it’s so painful. i don’t know who to turn to. we didn’t talk everyday. but when we did talk, it was like we had all the time in the world. i can’t believe it’s been over a year and a half. i don’t want to accept that you’re really gone but this hurt is all too real. i remember the day you left for college. and the day you texted me that you were coming home for good. you coming home was so amazing. i remember the last day i saw you. your long sleeve yellow tshirt, jeans, flip flops… in august… the day before my first tattoo. your mom’s surprise party was that weekend and i couldn’t go. i wish i was there. i wish we spent more time together. i remember sending you a text that day.. and not getting a reply… i remember the next morning like it was 10 minutes ago. it’s all so vivid in my head. my heart aches. i love you so much."